


Memories

by rileywrites



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Character Study, Fluff, Gen, of sorts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-25
Updated: 2017-09-25
Packaged: 2019-01-05 06:57:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12185148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rileywrites/pseuds/rileywrites
Summary: They're brief, but they're there. A dress as green as the forest of D'qar, thick brown-pink lips stretching into a smile over shockingly white teeth, a beast of some sort with a bell on its collar, brown blankets, yellow curtains, a baby girl with the tiniest afro puffs.





	Memories

Finn has...

Memories.

They've been coming back in flashes the longer he's been away from the Order. From the drug cocktail they filled him with, from reconditioning and propaganda and the Dark Side. From Ren, and Hux, and Phasma, and the all-consuming shadow of Snoke.

He hasn't told anyone.

They're brief, but they're there. A dress as green as the forest of D'qar, thick brown-pink lips stretching into a smile over shockingly white teeth, a beast of some sort with a bell on its collar, brown blankets, yellow curtains, a baby girl with the tiniest afro puffs.

Finn had a mother, and a sister, and a pet. He had a home. He knows that now, which is more than he's ever known before.

...

One of the nurses gives Finn a blanket, and he almost weeps.

(Later, he'll blame it on the medication, on the pain, on anything other than the overwhelming feeling of feeling cared for.)

"I made it while I was on duty watching you," she explains. "At least, that's when I started it. The brown part is when you were asleep, but the regulation orange is from when you woke up. I thought it could be symbolic, you know?"

It's a soft wool blanket in a deep brown and burnt orange, and holding it is like holding a cloud.

"Thank you," Finn says, throat tight. "It's beautiful."

Apparently her species blush blue, which is adorable (a word Finn learned from Han to describe Rey when she wasn't paying attention).

"You're welcome. You're only the second person I've made one for, and I wasn't sure if it was any good. I mean, I've made scarves and everything, but blankets are so much more work, especially when it's for someone as tall as you. It's long enough, yeah?"

"It's great, perfect, I love it." And then, "Who was the first?"

"Oh, the general. She was laid up for days after the last disturbance in the Force, so I started it then." The woman grins.

That brings the tears. She looks stricken, the blue flush spreading, but Finn just shakes his head.

"Happy tears, I promise."

She takes his hand in both of hers, and a humming energy flows through him. Her smile is soft, gentle.

"Good. You deserve to be happy, Finn."

...

Jessica shows off before a date in a new dress of Belascan make. It's forest green, with long flowy sleeves.

"C-can you come here for a second?" Finn holds his breath as she complies. "Is it okay if I... If I touch it?"

Jess is looking at him like he's lost his damn mind, but she nods.

The fabric feels like water under his fingertips, and Finn can feel tears welling up as he plays with the edge of her sleeve.

"What's wrong?" Jessica asks softly. "Do you not like it?"

Finn shakes his head, blinking the tears away. Jessika drops a hand to his shoulder, squeezing gently.

"What is it, Finn? You can tell me, but you don’t have to if you don't want to."

Quietly, as if speaking will break the spell, Finn tells her, "My mother had a dress like this."

There's silence around the table at the declaration. Jess' responding smile is wobbly.

"I'm sure it was beautiful on her," she murmurs. "Can I hug you? For good luck on my date."

Finn rubs at his eyes. "You don't need the luck. All the girls love you."

"Just hug me, idiot." Jessica hauls him in for a bone-crushing hug, tucking his face into her shoulder. "Better."

Finn just nods, trying not to cry again.

...

Finn has a window in his room.

It is an unprecedented luxury to be able to curl up in his blanket and watch the sky change colors at dawn without leaving bed.

Every now and then, Poe's face will appear in the round opening with a grin. Finn always gestures for him to come around and in through the door.

Poe always insists on climbing in through the window the moment Finn unlocks it anyway.

"Enjoying the view?" He asks, perching on the bed near Finn's feet and idly playing with an edge of the blanket.

"I never get tired of the sunrise. Did you have drills this morning?" That would explain the regulation athletic trousers and not so regulation undershirt. "I don't go down to Command until second shift." 

"Physical training with the rookies. New recruits means new routines for a while." Poe leans back against the wall. "How're your meetings going?"

Finn sighs. "I've told them everything I know, a thousand times over. Every regulation, every code, every rumor and legend and tradition. All of it. But it still feels like it isn't enough."

"Hey, all they can ask of you is your best. You don't owe them anything more than they can give you." Poe pauses. "Legends?" 

"Of course. The General says every group has them, no matter how bad the conditioning is."

"You'll have to tell me a story sometime," Poe says after a long, thoughtful pause. "I want to know."

"You will," Finn promises him. "I promise to tell you a story."

_"I promise to tell you a story."_

_She shrieks and giggles excitedly, tugging at his shirt with her tiny fists._

_"I promise, Sissah, I promise." Finn kisses her baby-soft forehead. "All the stories I know, which isn't many but they're all for you."_

_Mama smiles and rubs her hand over Finn's head._

_"You're a good brother, my love._ "

"...Finn? Buddy, are you okay? Do I need to call the doctor, or-- is this one of those spells, like when you were still detoxing?"

Finn startles at Poe's hand on his arm.

"I'm good, I'm good. I was just... remembering."

Poe smiles, bright as the sun. "Good."

It is.


End file.
